Monthly Archives: January 2014

Week 18 – Kindness is Everywhere … you just have to stop and look.

If we are honest with ourselves for most of our life we weren’t really sure what really makes us happy. We think we do, its only in hindsight that we realize we were wrong. Do the Math … 365 days a year times roughly 80 years = approx. 30,000 total days to live.   We sacrifice and give so many of our 30,000 days for something that we believe will offer happiness – the money, the job title, the house, the new car – then we find out it was a sham … that thrill of the chase is followed by disappointment and an emptiness, and we keep reaching for the next “prize”.

Neuroscience is now teaching us things that can bring real happiness in our daily lives.  Actually all it’s doing is confirming what we all ready know deep in our bones to be true.

I know its crazy … but it seems that being kind to others makes us happy.

You know the feeling you get when you give a gift … even a compliment  or a kind gesture.  That look in their eye that tells you they truly appreciate it.  That is an amazing feeling, one that can keep you going for days!! So it turns out that being nice to others is also being kind to yourself.   This wonderful little cycle of joy that we create.

This is an amazing video shows some simple acts of kindness. This was recorded from dashboard surveillance cameras, Russian drivers have had the opportunity to record some memorable moments, where people help each other and help other species too. It’s so heart touch­ing. I can’t watch this without getting a little misty … no small feat for a RED …

I dare you to watch this and not feel motivated to go out and do something nice for someone.

Have a break. Enjoy this

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week 17 – What will they say about your dash

A_tombstone_with_Sue_Rangell's_name_on_it_(joke)

 How Do You Live Your Dash?

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning….. to the end
He noted he first came to her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years. (1900 – 1970)

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on this earth…
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own:
The cars…the house…the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard….
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
To consider whats true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.
If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile….
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy’s being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

We were given this exercise to read the obituaries everyday.  It had to be in a real newspaper not online.  At first I thought I knew why were were doing it.  I said “Ok Mark, I get it… Og’s book (Greatest Salesman) “Live each day as if it’s our last” … I get it .  But then a funny thing happened.

As I’m reading these obits of people I don’t know, and the comments from family, I started thinking about the people .  What did they dream about? Did they accomplish what they wanted? Did they love someone? Did anyone really love them?  What were their passions? Did they ever make a impression on anyone? Did they change anyones life for the better? For the worse?

You really start to see how fragile life is, how precious it is … how you really can’t waste a moment, not a single moment.  Because it truly could be your last day.  Then I came across this.

obits kid

Some one so young … just getting started.

And you  begin to really appreciate all the days you have had since being this age …. how many have I wasted in trivial pursuits? How many have I let slip past by not challenging myself, by not bettering myself?

It’s true what we have learned from Hennel that once a mind has been stretched with a new understanding it cannot return to its original shape.  I see this reminder as an opportunity … not to try and make up for the past, because the sands of times can not flow up in the hour glass, but to pledge to make each day something I can be proud of.  What a wonderful experience.

WEEK 17JH – The hero’s journey explained in a very serious way

If you enjoy reading as I do, and enjoy movies as I do you, will be interested in knowing that most of literature we read and movies we watch all have a central theme. Even accent stories all followed that same pattern… it’s what makes them so compelling.

Joseph Campbell wrote a very cool book called “A Hero with a Thousand Faces”. The book is about self-actualization and at its core and has a approach that applies to everyone.

It’s mostly about myths and mythology. But the lessons in this book can help us identify and navigate the paths we take to better ourselves and the changes in our lives. It can help us get better at navigating change, something most of us struggle with.

Campbell looked at what myths from different cultures had in common, rather than what they didn’t. Everywhere Campbell searched, he found a single story-telling pattern.

Campbell called this universal pattern the monomyth. You might know it as the Hero’s Journey.

The monomyth is in every story you’ve ever heard, most of the movies you’ve ever seen — and it’s present in your own life, every day. And understanding it can make you a better person.

The video above is a very serious and somber retelling of the Hero’s journey and how it is used in modern Movie making.

 

Week 16 – Your off the island.

I have a confession to make … I thought I was immune to most outside influences. Didn’t really think I would ever allow other people to effective my positive nature, but recently a very close family member who I respect tremendously frustrated me with a whole bunch of negative talk about their future and current situation in life.  It really knocked be on my butt. While I have other people in my life that I have basically removed from my life because of some their negativity, this is someone who has been a motivator and a positive influence for me since I was kid.

Don’t worry … I’ve since recovered … but it got me thinking about the people in our lives and how  we react to their frame of minds.  Are they unduly influencing us?

While we’d all rather avoid it, negativity is a part of life.

Even though it’s unavoidable, it can knock us off course – even stunt your progress – if you don’t know how to handle it.

The first strategy for dealing with negative people, temporary or otherwise is to determine whether you are dealing with negativity from a positive person or negativity  from a negative person. That distinction will help us develop a filter to figure out the difference between the two.  You can handle the rare and occasional rants of Negative talk from a positive person. The constant onslaught of life sucking negitivlty from a negative person is toxic and you should run … run for your life!!!

So how do you know if you’re dealing with a actual negative person? Here are seven signs:

1. This is a broken record.You’ve seen it before … too often.  It’s not an isolated, out-of-character incident you’re looking at. The criticism or negative talk you’re dealing with is ‘the standard’ for them.

2. They fail the call display test. As silly as this sounds, I laughed whenI was thinking about this … but the call display test is a pretty good indicator of whether a person drains you or pumps you up. When you see someones name come up on your caller ID, you get an immediate visceral reaction to it. Sometimes you’re thrilled to see the name and can’t wait to take the call. Other times you’re neutral. But sometimes your heart drops and you get a knot in your stomach. Whether it’s a phone call, a text or an email, you respond negatively and quietly think “oh crap, I don’t not want to talk to that person… in fact I’d rather jam a spoon in my eye” That’s a sign that the person’s overall influence in your life has been negative, not positive.

3. They are mostly against things, but never for things. Negative people rarely know what they are passionate about; they only know what they “don’t like”. If the person you’re dealing with isn’t “for” anything positive, they likely have a negative outlook.

4. Compliments are usually followed by the word “but”. A positive person (and even a neutral person for that matter) can give a compliment. And feel good about it.  Negative people struggle with it. They are too insecure to give away any power. What starts out positively (“thats sounds like a great opportunity”) then a sheepish (“BUT … I don’t know … sounds like a pyramid scheme to me”)

5. Not doing much with their life. Okay, this one sounds a little harsh, but it’s true!!. Truly negative people rarely accomplish anything great. Because they are against everything, no one really wants to work with them. Stalled out careers, a history of changing jobs, always struggling with money … Hello!! I wonder why!!!. Most negative people do nothing significant with their lives.

6. They have no vision for the future. A negative person is almost never excited about the future. They have no compelling long term goals. They can just tell you why your vision is wrong.

I had to remind myself of these signs this week and make the decision weather to put this person on the outside. “your off the island, buddy”  It also reminded me that even when I think I have it all figured out, I can still have a bad week and need a pick me up too!.  Thanks to all of you who contribute to my positive mental health 🙂 Much Love!!

Week 15 – Law of cause and effect – (This is a deep one)

The Law of Cause and Effect states  “every material effect must have an adequate prior or simultaneous cause.”

So it stands to reason that the mass of a tricycle is not going to have enough gravitational pull to cause a tidal wave. There must be an adequate cause for the tidal wave, like a huge, offshore, underwater earthquake. Leaning against a mountain will not cause it to fall over. Jumping on a trampoline will not cause an earthquake. If no one builds a home on an empty lot the lot will remain homeless.

If matter was not made and placed in the Universe, we would not exist. There must be an adequate prior cause for every material effect. Perhaps the Law of Cause and Effect seems like common sense to most, but very often when we add God into the discussion common sense is thrown out and we begin to add emotion into the equation.

Everyone who studies science and is a student of logic knows that this is the foundation of all science.  If we refused to believe in The Law of Cause and Effect, or that everything that has a beginning has a cause, and that it always happens that way no matter what, all science as we know it would fall apart. It’s the basis and assumption for every conclusion and investigation man has made to this point.  We have to take it for granted before beginning any new hypothesis

So, the Law of Cause and Effect cannot be rationally denied … except if your trying to support some fantastic idea that requires you to suspend logic and blindly believe something without proof or reason.

The Bible,  supports this theory as well …  Hebrews 3:4 it says that “every house is constructed by someone, but He who built all things is God.”

A house must have a cause, or a builder. It can’t build itself. However, evolutionists and Atheists are left in a tough spot when trying to explain how the effect of the incredibly complex Universe could have come about without a cause.

According to them … The Universe, and everything that has happened in it since the beginning of time, are a grand effect without a known cause.

An effect without a known cause? That doesn’t sound like the world of science; it is a world of magic, of unexplained events, a medieval world filled with wizards and spells, of magicians pulling rabbits out of hats.

If atheism were true, there must then be a natural explanation of what caused the Universe. Scientists and philosophers recognize that there must be a cause that would be sufficient to bring about matter and the Universe—and yet no natural cause is known, and even more interestingly they have NEVER been able to recreate it..

The McGraw-Hill Dictionary says that “causality,” in physics, is “the principle that an event cannot precede its cause”

However, the atheist must concede that in order for this claim to be reasonable, the effect of the Universe not only preceded its cause, but actually came about without it!

Such a viewpoint is hardly in keeping with science. Scientifically speaking, according to the Law of Cause and Effect, there had to be a Cause for the Universe.

The only reference material I know of which gives us any explanation of the Cause is the Bible.  I don’t see how we can really truly believe we are nature greatest miracle and appreciate ourselves for how wonderfully we were made, unless we understand the intelligence that went into making us.  Its hard to think of ourselves as being “made first class, by first class, if we in fact had no “Cause”.

Week 14 – You are the greatest !!!

We spend so much time waiting to be loved by others, hoping that love will find us.  We feel empty and lost when we don’t have it.  Loving yourself is mainly about having self-respect, realizing that we are the greatest thing created on earth. It’s accepting that the only real way to create love in your own life is to share with others.  (Givers gain) When you expect love from an external source, and someone or something does not fill that void, then we can sink even further into this emotional quick sand.

Stop the insanity!!

To be able to be loved, you must love and respect yourself as much as you do others. Understanding the effects of loving yourself will only enhance your ability to love others.

Actually its completely necessary to love yourself before you can love anyone else.

Imagine your on a plane … The flight attendant comes out to do the song and dance before take off.  They tell you … “In the case of an emergency, if your traveling with children,  make sure you put your own oxygen mask on before helping them.  WHY? (seems so wrong to all the blues??)  It’s because they know if you don’t take care of yourself first, then you are in no position to help anyone else.

We are learning about this in our Master Keys but this was recognized 3000 years ago in the Bible .

Leviticus 19:18 “you must love your fellow man as yourself”

Matthew 22:39 “you must love your neighbour as yourself”

So .. let’s put this into perspective .. Let’s say I was self-deprecating, I beat myself up for every little flaw, second guessed all my decisions, neglected my physical and emotional needs, refused to accept compliments from people , refused to recognize my true greatness.

Now … I’m going to love YOU as much as I love myself …. what would you say???

“No thanks buddy … ”

So to follow through on this command from the Great Teacher … we HAVE to have self love.

So here are some practical suggestions to help you learn to Love yourself.

1 – Treat others with love and respect. “I greet this day with love in my heart” Bringing joy to other people’s lives will help you find joy in your own. Also, those that you treat well will likely repay you with the same kindness. Gradually, you will start to feel your worth through the smiles of gratitude. But don’t do it with any expectation … some won’t return the love … Who cares! You did your part … You have to give it away to get it.

2 –  Random acts of kindness.  You want to fall in love with yourself in a hurry?? Share something, anything … your time, your expertise, your abundance … anonymously if possible … ohmygosh … I love you more already 🙂

3- Write down your gratitudes  Put the love out there and you’ll get it back, remember you get what you give. When you do this exercise it’s sort of a mental inventory of our lives . “my life is pretty amazing after all … I have so much to be grateful for … I rock!!” 

4 – Let go of past events and negative feelings towards other people:  BEAR HUGS KETTLE!!. Cherish the great stuff, acknowledge the learning experiences and drop the pot of water man! You deserve it!  Forgive those who have done you wrong. Those kinds of thoughts are like poison. You know what the opposite of HATE is??? …. Wrong …  its not LOVE … its INDIFFERENCE.  You don’t have to be best friends with that person just stop blaming them for everything thats wrong in your world.

5 – Put positive statements up some place where you will see them each and every day. – See Stuart Smalley above 🙂  Or how about write out 60 index cards that list all the amazing accomplishments you have done in your life, and flip through them every chance you get.  What .. can’t think of 60??? I’ll give you a hint … confide in 3 people you know well about this exercise, and what you are trying to do … ask them to come up with at least 10.  I’ll bet they come up with 20!!  We are our own worse critic … and given the opportunity we will beat ourselves up whenever we can.  You are awesome, trust me … you just don’t know it yet 🙂

6 – Lock in on your Definite Major Purpose – Try to look past “material” things. We all want a nice house, nice stuff, someone to share our life with, etc. Find your true wants objectively. How do you want to FEEL? What is your true Bliss? We can always fool ourselves, but figuring out what you really WANT will help you know and love yourself better .

7 – Have persistence: Work hard at this .. it’s not going to change overnight … creating your new blueprint is undoing possibly decades of misguided thinking.  Work as steadily as you can at loving and accepting yourself just as you are right now.   The true meaning of loving someone is accepting them “as is”. Not trying to change them into something else.  Why would it be any different for yourself— learn to love yourself “as is”. Only then can we start to refine the little “wrinkles” in ourselves. This isn’t easy .. it’s “Wicked Hard” But its worth the effort.

 8 – Take care of yourself: Set up some time to be by yourself, just by yourself. DO YOUR SIT. Do something that gives you peace, love, and joy with yourself.  Take care of yourself physically by exercising and eat healthy food. Listen to a love song, do some painting, or helping others in need.  Take care of yourself mentally by reading your favorite books.

9 – Stop comparing yourself to others:  Everyone on this earth is unique. We all have different strengths.  When you compare yourself to others, it can make you feel bad about yourself.  Someone is always going to do if different. When you compare yourself to others for what they have, whether it is a car, a house, money, or a job, it makes  lose your confidence, and perhaps depressed, envious or jealous. Having more does not mean happiness!!!  If you are not enough NOW … the way you are … it will never be enough …. you will always be trying to keep up with the Jone’s … you won’t ever be enough to yourself.

Understand you are Made first class, by first class, and you deserve to go first class … if you do a first class job being content with who you are.

Focus on your own strengths. Get to know yourself, and discover what your greatest gift is that you are meant to share with the world.  “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, LOVING, harmonious and happy …  BELIVE IT!!

10 – Stop trying to be perfect: . Your already Perfect!  Always do your best …  not the best your can.   Your more than enough … Remember that no matter what, you will always be perfect just the way you are, flaws and all.

“Cause I’m good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it … people like me 🙂