WEEK 23 – “To thy own self be true”

(This post is a little heavy … I know my posts usually have a little humour in them, but I’m starting to find this process of journaling very theriputic and I really appreciate having this sounding board … thanks for your comments)

As our time together is coming to and end soon, I’ve been meditating on what is the biggest lessons I’ve learned from the Master Keys.

If I’m being “honest” with myself (The irony will make senesce later) it’s that I haven’t always been honest with myself.  You see, I have enjoyed a modicom of success in my life … I have been to self help deals before … paid thousands of dollars to see “gurus” talk, been on weekend educational retreats, I own close to 100 books on the subject of improving myself,  (frankly NONE of them come close to the information we have received for the last 6 months.)  After all this time in reflection I can openly admit … I lie to myself constantly.

Let’s pause for a moment and talk about Honesty

What is honesty?

Honesty is the process of seeing, accepting and expressing our authentic, true self.
And this all starts with being honest with ourselves. Nothing is more important. All too often, we fall into the trap of deceiving ourselves  by trying to justify our behaviour.

The real enemy behind being  dishonest is fear. Until we face our fears, our rationalization for being dishonest sticks around. It’s a slippery slope. We loose our integrity. We begin to lie, we begin to rationalize, we begin to deceive others, and we begin to act on the impulses of envy, greed and manipulation.

We may think we are getting away with it because we are not getting caught in the act by others, but we are getting caught every single time by ourselves. And we experience the internal consequences every time. Our own minds know when we are not acting with integrity.

And the turmoil of not living in alignment with our true authentic self ensures that we can not have inner peace.

All dishonesty is a form of self sabotage in the long run. By not building our lives around a skeleton of integrity, we cut our self off from who we really are and the result is that our true spirit fades away. We loose our self.

If we desire to live a life which we enjoy, if we desire to live the life that we intended to live by coming here in the first place, we need to learn how to express who it is that we truly are in every single moment.

We must first lie to our selves before we can lie to others, because of this we need to be brave enough to ask ourselves what we are so afraid will happen if we are 100% honest with ourselves and others.

Honesty never feels bad. What feels bad are the conclusions we draw about (and judgments we cast on) our honesty.

Those of us who are aware that our minds create our reality, often find ourselves at an impasse when it comes to honesty. On one hand it is true that whatever you focus on…you get more of and that if you want to live a different life, you have to tell a different story relative to your life.

I’ve realized that  I have lied to myself almost everyday.   I’ve ignored my true bliss for most of my life.  When I have allowed myself to think about it I quickly pushed it out of my mind and would lie to myself again “that is impossible, stop day dreaming about a fantasy that will never happen”  I convinced myself that I needed to be a good provider, that I can always make up for the time away from family tommorow. I told myself that my purpose was to make a better life for my kids … all the while being miserable.  I was afraid of telling myself the truth, that I’m allowed to be happy, that I can be the best provider ever but if I’m not leading by example, by living a life of purpose …them I’m really doing them a disservice.  

I’ve also told myself that I always gave my best effort, when the truth is because my heart was not fully invested in my endeavours …  I fake it.  I’ve managed to get by on a little charm , and a great ability to cram.  I lied to myself that “l’ll do the best I can”  but never doing my best. Tomorrow has always been the saving grace.

Well, time to face the music … no more lie’s, I will never tell myself a lie again.

I was created on purpose, and for a purpose.

I am natures GREATEST miracle  DAM IT!! And I NEED to live each day as if it my last.

That is the greatest gift I can give myself and my kids.

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16 thoughts on “WEEK 23 – “To thy own self be true”

  1. Just followed a FB post from Lydia. We could spend all day on the computer reading everyone’s blogs each week and have had to be a bit selective (hence the rotating groups) so this is actually the first time I have read any of your posts Jason, and I was really touched by your honesty, and the love you clearly have for your family and now yourself. Bravo, and I know you will have an amazing future.

  2. “After all this time in reflection I can openly admit … I lie to myself constantly.”
    Jason, Are you in MY head too? WOW! Such courage to be sooo honest!
    I am blown away by how much I can relate to what you have written.
    Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, for giving me a boost in courage to do so as well.

  3. Wow, incredible insight and self evaluation, which is always the most powerful….Rock on my friend. They say once you have the self-realization that it is more than half the battle…We truly have been given a gift. Thank you for sharing this.

  4. Jason, this post really touched me. Your honesty about yourself has helped me look at my own behavior of dishonesty to myself. It is all fear based, I know it. You stripped it all away and the truth is there to see. Thank you, your posts are so helpful and on point. Thanks for the gift!

  5. WOW! Jason, this is raw with beauty, honesty and emotion!!! GREAT Job! I wish I was close enough to give you a BIG hug. It will have to wait until Kauai, but I promise to give it to you then.

  6. Well, you have certainly given yourself, your family and everyone who is touched by you, the greatest gift. Everything starts with a foundation and if it is based on truth, then it is rock-solid. It also becomes your guide as to where you will direct your thoughts and energy – so many more gifts will come your way. I loved your openness and your whole thought process. Thank-you so much.

  7. Jason, I struggle for the words to tell you that I too have the same. Your post has my brain reeling with shame and relief as I hide behind the words. I have experienced many successes in my life, I have not enjoyed many successes. I have been told by people very close to me that I have changed in many ways over the last six months, but deep inside I still feel an angst that I could have done more. I have a habit of comparing myself to other to see if I measure up and you can guess my answer… I have learned a lot thru the MKMMA and have a lot yet to learn. I wish you the best of luck my friend, your blog shows us all that you are on the right path and you will discover your bliss, if haven’t already!

  8. Hey man, this is one helluva good post. As a husband and father myself, I have felt these same thoughts before, and from time to time still do..I have found that as much as we may want to go from zero (dishonest with self) to hero (honest with ourselves), I have found it came in waves..I guess it takes a while to chip away the cement from our Golden Buddah. If I were to guess as a % of all people who face themselves and decide to be completely honest moving forward..maybe .005%? But to put it out here for the world to read? Pretty ballsy and a GREAT role model for your friends, spouse, and child(ren). Kudos to you, bro, well done and best of luck to you on your path. ~ SPG

    1. Sean … Thank you so much for your comments. Your so right about the cement. It does come in waves. And I have days where I regress, but I’m determined to keep my heart and eyes on my Bliss from now on! Thanks again!

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