We spend so much time waiting to be loved by others, hoping that love will find us. We feel empty and lost when we don’t have it. Loving yourself is mainly about having self-respect, realizing that we are the greatest thing created on earth. It’s accepting that the only real way to create love in your own life is to share with others. (Givers gain) When you expect love from an external source, and someone or something does not fill that void, then we can sink even further into this emotional quick sand.
Stop the insanity!!
To be able to be loved, you must love and respect yourself as much as you do others. Understanding the effects of loving yourself will only enhance your ability to love others.
Actually its completely necessary to love yourself before you can love anyone else.
Imagine your on a plane … The flight attendant comes out to do the song and dance before take off. They tell you … “In the case of an emergency, if your traveling with children, make sure you put your own oxygen mask on before helping them. WHY? (seems so wrong to all the blues??) It’s because they know if you don’t take care of yourself first, then you are in no position to help anyone else.
We are learning about this in our Master Keys but this was recognized 3000 years ago in the Bible .
Leviticus 19:18 “you must love your fellow man as yourself”
Matthew 22:39 “you must love your neighbour as yourself”
So .. let’s put this into perspective .. Let’s say I was self-deprecating, I beat myself up for every little flaw, second guessed all my decisions, neglected my physical and emotional needs, refused to accept compliments from people , refused to recognize my true greatness.
Now … I’m going to love YOU as much as I love myself …. what would you say???
“No thanks buddy … ”
So to follow through on this command from the Great Teacher … we HAVE to have self love.
So here are some practical suggestions to help you learn to Love yourself.
1 – Treat others with love and respect. “I greet this day with love in my heart” Bringing joy to other people’s lives will help you find joy in your own. Also, those that you treat well will likely repay you with the same kindness. Gradually, you will start to feel your worth through the smiles of gratitude. But don’t do it with any expectation … some won’t return the love … Who cares! You did your part … You have to give it away to get it.
2 – Random acts of kindness. You want to fall in love with yourself in a hurry?? Share something, anything … your time, your expertise, your abundance … anonymously if possible … ohmygosh … I love you more already 🙂
3- Write down your gratitudes Put the love out there and you’ll get it back, remember you get what you give. When you do this exercise it’s sort of a mental inventory of our lives . “my life is pretty amazing after all … I have so much to be grateful for … I rock!!”
4 – Let go of past events and negative feelings towards other people: BEAR HUGS KETTLE!!. Cherish the great stuff, acknowledge the learning experiences and drop the pot of water man! You deserve it! Forgive those who have done you wrong. Those kinds of thoughts are like poison. You know what the opposite of HATE is??? …. Wrong … its not LOVE … its INDIFFERENCE. You don’t have to be best friends with that person just stop blaming them for everything thats wrong in your world.
5 – Put positive statements up some place where you will see them each and every day. – See Stuart Smalley above 🙂 Or how about write out 60 index cards that list all the amazing accomplishments you have done in your life, and flip through them every chance you get. What .. can’t think of 60??? I’ll give you a hint … confide in 3 people you know well about this exercise, and what you are trying to do … ask them to come up with at least 10. I’ll bet they come up with 20!! We are our own worse critic … and given the opportunity we will beat ourselves up whenever we can. You are awesome, trust me … you just don’t know it yet 🙂
6 – Lock in on your Definite Major Purpose – Try to look past “material” things. We all want a nice house, nice stuff, someone to share our life with, etc. Find your true wants objectively. How do you want to FEEL? What is your true Bliss? We can always fool ourselves, but figuring out what you really WANT will help you know and love yourself better .
7 – Have persistence: Work hard at this .. it’s not going to change overnight … creating your new blueprint is undoing possibly decades of misguided thinking. Work as steadily as you can at loving and accepting yourself just as you are right now. The true meaning of loving someone is accepting them “as is”. Not trying to change them into something else. Why would it be any different for yourself— learn to love yourself “as is”. Only then can we start to refine the little “wrinkles” in ourselves. This isn’t easy .. it’s “Wicked Hard” But its worth the effort.
8 – Take care of yourself: Set up some time to be by yourself, just by yourself. DO YOUR SIT. Do something that gives you peace, love, and joy with yourself. Take care of yourself physically by exercising and eat healthy food. Listen to a love song, do some painting, or helping others in need. Take care of yourself mentally by reading your favorite books.
9 – Stop comparing yourself to others: Everyone on this earth is unique. We all have different strengths. When you compare yourself to others, it can make you feel bad about yourself. Someone is always going to do if different. When you compare yourself to others for what they have, whether it is a car, a house, money, or a job, it makes lose your confidence, and perhaps depressed, envious or jealous. Having more does not mean happiness!!! If you are not enough NOW … the way you are … it will never be enough …. you will always be trying to keep up with the Jone’s … you won’t ever be enough to yourself.
Understand you are Made first class, by first class, and you deserve to go first class … if you do a first class job being content with who you are.
Focus on your own strengths. Get to know yourself, and discover what your greatest gift is that you are meant to share with the world. “I am whole, perfect, strong, powerful, LOVING, harmonious and happy … BELIVE IT!!
10 – Stop trying to be perfect: . Your already Perfect! Always do your best … not the best your can. Your more than enough … Remember that no matter what, you will always be perfect just the way you are, flaws and all.
“Cause I’m good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it … people like me 🙂